


Winter Spangled Man

by winterspangled



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Humorous, M/M, OC, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-06
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 15:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1749521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterspangled/pseuds/winterspangled
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The heart warming story of a dog who encounters Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes being the romantic bros they are whilst on a stroll. Things turn serious when the dog tries to take some memorabilia. </p><p>Bucky and Steve being romantic. The dog being a dog. Will update!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1: the Fateful Stroll

**Author's Note:**

  * For [twinkPrince](https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinkPrince/gifts).



> This was written mainly as a joke but hey it is a very serious romance that must be documented.
> 
> Winter Soldier + Star Spangled Man with a Plan = Winter Spangled Man  
> That is all you need to know for now.

The dog trotted along the street. It was a nice sunny day and the sun shone brightly in the sky. The dog stopped and looked around, breathing in the sunshine. Suddenly, apparently out of nowhere, some cars crashed on a bridge above. The colours and stars of America shone bright as Captain America bolted into action. A silver, mechanical arm glared nearby. The dog almost stopped breathing. This was like a moment out of a movie or a comic book or something. The two men battled it out on the bridge as the dog watched in awe. His little stubs for legs moved him forward toward the scene. But alas, like his legs his neck was also stubby and all he could see where rapidly moving shapes accompanied by manly grunts of effort. Clank! A strange mask fell to the ground. It smelt like a cold Russian winter. The dog picked it up in his mouth and trotted away, content with his sighting for today. “Hey, that son of a bitch took my mask!” a furious Bucky Barnes yelled. Beside him Steve Rogers stopped.  
“Oh come on,” he grunted. He turned to Bucky. “Oh, Buck, don’t cry!”  
“I’m not crying, Steve,” he sassed, flipping his hair. “Its just my eyeliner.”  
“... Right.”  
Faster than the speed of Sonic a shield aggressively landed inches away from the dog. Startled, the little critter turned around. Steve and Bucky stood menacingly several meters away, motioning with their hands for the mask. The dog started to sprint off but it tripped on a feather of freedom from a passing bald eagle. Steve laughed. “You thought you could escape the freedom of America?!” He walked forward and scooped up the mask from the fallen dog. Caught up in his intense feelings of love for America, he ushered Bucky closer. Bucky leaned in for a passionate kiss. It was deep and long lasting, like it should be. Steve put the mask back on Bucky’s face and smiled, before turning to the dog. But it was already gone. 

Steve and Bucky made out for hours until their angst and heartbreak went away. They adopted several blood hounds and trained them to hunt down the dog’s scent. Bucky's mask had suffered severe drool damage and had bite marks. While the waited for the day of justice when they could ask the dog for compensation they lived happily, making out a lot.


	2. Day 2: the Morrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter of the thrilling tale! The dog's rendezvous with Steve and Bucky resulted in Bucky's mask being unimaginably damaged. The two lovey dovey bros demand compensation! And so their search for the dog is on.
> 
> Love. Loss. Action. Trotting.
> 
> What is to become of our beloved four legged friend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was also written mainly as a joke to follow up on the last joke, but like I said before this is a very serious romance that must be documented.
> 
> If you see a typo tell me and it shall be gone quicker than... something that goes really fast. Like Sonic.

Bucky groaned as the sun poured into the room through the curtains. It was some ungodly hour in the morning. As per usual Steve was fast asleep beside him. His angelic face glowed youthfully. Bucky shook his head and chuckled, ruffling Steve’s gently hair. “All that freedom, huh, buddy?” he muttered. He stood up and walked to the bathroom, stretching as he did so. He stared into the mirror. The reflection he saw could be mistaken for a band member in an death metal group. He ripped a make up wipe from its packaging and desperately wiped the smudged eyeliner off his face. 

Steve felt the warmth on his neck and smiled sleepily. “Buck...”  
The warmth persisted and gave way to a strange wetness. Steve’s eyes burst open like a waterfall. One of the bloodhounds, a little one called Stabby, was licking Steve’s neck in that good ol’ get-out-bed-human fashion. Steve sat up and flopped his ears around. “Ready to go sue a dog?” he cooed. Stabby barked happily. “That’s my boy.” 

Clean and distinctively lacking eyeliner, Bucky sat at the breakfast table with Steve. Their three little blood hounds sat by their feet. They ate in silence. With their military planning and thirst for justice they had managed to somehow form a strategy to hunt down the dog. Despite their elaborate maps and training schedules that littered the kitchen floor the plan of action was to simply walk the blood hounds and hope for the best. “Well, I’m stuffed,” Steve beamed, pushing his plate away from him. He looked at Bucky suggestively. “Shall we?” Bucky leaned forward and kissed Steve hard on the lips. Steve was obviously taken aback and frowned. “The... dog...?” he breathed.  
“Ah,” Bucky grimaced.  
An awkward silence settled over the room. Stabby broke it by barking impatiently, sensing the possibility of a walk. The two men laughed at the impatient dog and went to get the dog walking utensils. 

As the two prepared their blood hounds for hunting the aforementioned dog trotted yet again down the street. It wondered absently, as dogs usually do, what it would see today on its walk. Many interesting smells and objects passed the dog as it walked down the busy street. The Winter Spangled events of the other day had almost completely left its mind and it walked along joyfully as if nobody was out to demand compensation from it. 

The blood hounds were leashed and ready to roll. Steve and Bucky wore matching swanky caps and went for a fateful walk.


End file.
